


Kiss me like you mean it.

by la_puta_ama



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Everybody concerned are very much alive, Fluff, Fuck disease, Language, M/M, my boys are staying together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28262049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/la_puta_ama/pseuds/la_puta_ama
Summary: Martín startles, when he hears Andrés laughing.-Martín, all those years we’ve spent together… And you still somehow managed to miss the essence of my personality.He meets Andrés’ eyes, not sure how to react.-Tell me, have you ever known me to do something that I don’t want to do?
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rodeoclown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rodeoclown/gifts).



> So, my first ever work is up. I hope you will enjoy it.
> 
> Since the submission deadline was today, last night my brain decided that we need to change half of the story. Hopefully it's still readable and coherent.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Martín, you know perfectly well that I don't care about anybody at this party.  
> -Then why do you keep coming? And what's more interesting, why do you keep bringing me along?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter was written with a particular song playing in my headphones. 
> 
> For this one, it was _bastille - an act of kindness_.

This was one of Martín's least favorite parts about being Andrés' friend. He had to dress up and go with him to these fucking fancy parties. Martín hates them so much. He doesn't fit in, never will. He can almost hear people laughing at him, because Andrés is so... well, Andrés. And everybody expects him to show up with some astonishingly beautiful (and as astonishingly stupid) girl. But for some reason Andrés keeps dragging Martín with him.

As soon as they enter, Andrés disappears surrounded by the crowd of people, who are longing for his attention. Martín understands it, he can't get enough of the man himself. So he proceeds to find a quiet corner, get drunk and pray that this evening soon will be over. 

But it gets insufferably long. Martín starts feeling dizzy from all the expensive alcohol he consumed. He decides to go and get some fresh air. The territory of the house is huge and empty. Martín just walks around, wishing that he brought a pack of cigarettes with him. He finds this sudden craving surprising, he hasn't smoked in quite some time. But then he registers a faint smell. He turns around to see Andrés, who, as usual, came by without Martín noticing.

-What are you doing here? Your fancy friends would miss you.

-Martín, you know perfectly well that I don't care about anybody at this party.

-Then why do you keep coming? And what's more interesting, why do you keep bringing me along?

That was when Martín realized he had too much to drink. He never questions when Andrés is taking him somewhere, just admires to be in his company. Even if he complains a lot, he doesn't mean it.

-It is beneficial for me to keep connections with some of those people. As to why I bring you with me...

Andrés takes another drag of the cigarette. His gaze is fixated on Martín, the question in his eyes. Wondering why he has to explain such obvious things to Martín. 

-Because I enjoy your company. Because I like knowing that you're close to me. Does this answer your question?

Martín struggles to come up with an answer. He wants to utter some sarcastic joke to erase the pressure Andrés' words created. But hearing those words being said by Andrés out loud warmed Martín to his core. And he is afraid that if he tries to say something, his voice would betray him. So he just scoffs quietly and looks away. 

There is silence while Andrés finishes his cigarette. Then he quietly shortens the distance between them and puts his hands on Martín's shoulders, thumbs lightly caressing his neck. He presses their foreheads together and sighs.

-I'm so tired. What do you say we go home?

Martín can't help, but put his hands on Andrés' waist. He definitely had too much to drink. 

-Whatever you say, mi amor.

He whispers the last part and goes into full-blown panic mode. Why the fuck would he say that? It just felt so natural, so easy... Martín prays to all the gods that Andrés didn't hear it, but apparently luck is not on his side today.

Because Andrés smiles this crooked smile of his. Martín is ready to hear the man mocking him, or worse, taking his hands off and walking away. Martín's mind goes into overdrive to find a way out of this, to say something that would save him.

But the next second everything inside Martín freezes, because Andrés is pressing his lips against his. 

That's just too much. At first Martín is too scared to move, to breathe, to do anything that would bring Andrés apart from him. But then he feels Andrés hand slide on the back of his head, pulling softly at his hair. 

Martín realizes that if he keeps standing here like a statue, it won't do him any good. So he answers the kiss carefully and immediately regrets it. It seems like his mind just turned off and his body took full control. He presses Andrés closer to himself and deepens the kiss. He tastes the wine and cigarettes on Andrés' lips. But there is more. He finally kisses the man that he was in love with for years. It is intoxicating, infuriatingly so. Martín knows that now that he got the taste, he would never in his life get enough of it.

But the painful need for oxygen makes them pull apart. Andrés' eyes are closed, his breath is heavy and his forehead is still pressed against Martín's. Martín is just standing still, his fingers desperately clutching at Andrés' shirt, afraid of not knowing what will come next.

Andrés takes a deep breath, opens his eyes and takes his hands off Martín. 

-I need to get my coat. Can you call a cab while I'm at it?

And just like that he leaves. And when he returns everything is the same. As if nothing happened.

In the morning Martín is almost sure it didn't.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But he keeps walking. And Martín follows. As he always does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _halsey - is there somewhere_
> 
> I'm really bad at describing beautiful things, so I'm sorry if my description of Martín and Andrés' thoughts about him are not that good.

The night before they are leaving Italy to look at the bank of Spain, they get to drink some wine. They sit on the sofa, shoulders and knees tightly pressed together. Andrés doesn't even notice the moment his hand ends up on Martín’s thigh. It just feels like the right thing to do at the moment.

They keep talking and at some point Andrés turns to look at Martín, which causes his hand to slide higher on his thigh. He notices Martín stumble mid-sentence, gasping for air. Andrés can't help but smile wickedly at this. He wants nothing more right now than to make Martín's breath hitch in his throat again from his touch. 

But he never gets to do that, because Martín stands up, saying that it is too late and they have an early flight. Slightly disappointed, Andrés gets up too.

Martín takes a couple of steps in the direction of his room and then lingers, turning to look at Andrés again. As if begging Andrés to ask him to stay. 

But Andrés was never the one to ask something from other people. He just takes what's his. So he smiles and closes the distance between them.

-See you in the morning then.

He kisses Martín softly on the lips and without letting the other man answer, turns to leave the room.

* * *

They arrive at the hotel on the outskirts of Madrid. Andrés is still a person of interest and they can't allow themselves to be flashing in luxurious hotels. Martín is fine with it as well as the fact that they are going to share the bed. He is used to it and he didn't for once care to ask Andrés why he keeps booking only single bed rooms.

They spend the day discussing the plan and only when the sun goes down they make their way to the bank. They stand in front of it, admiring the view. Martín is explaining to Andrés where exactly the vault is and from which sides the water will start pouring. Andrés is listening closely, as he always does, because he enjoys Martín talking about the complicated engineering things. He might not understand everything, but he enjoys it nevertheless.

And even though he captures every word Martín says, his mind also wanders somewhere else. He imagines them, melting all the gold and leaving the bank of Spain as kings who managed to brilliantly trick the whole world. He imagines himself and Martín basking in all the glory. And he suddenly realizes that he doesn't want anyone else to share this moment with. Yes, Andrés was entertaining the idea of bringing his latest girlfriend, Tatiana, with him to the heist. But he knows that Martín is uncomfortable around her. He behaves, he laughs, he looks like he enjoys her company, but Andrés still feels that something is off. As it has always been with all the women he dated.

-Andrés?

He snaps out of his thoughts and looks at Martín.

-It is getting cold. And you seem tired. Shall we head back to the hotel?

Andrés nods and turns to have the last look at the bank. He clearly envisions crowds of people admiring them, journalists and police trying to decipher their intentions, trying to come up with something that will stop them. But nothing can. Nothing is more powerful than the art Martín and Andrés created together.

Andrés turns to follow Martín, who's waiting a few steps ahead of him. Everything is dark already, but Martín is standing in the light of a street lamp. And Andrés finds himself unable to move, unable to talk. Martín seems to be having the last look at the building too. The light of the lamp carefully underlines every feature of his face. Andrés finds himself wanting to paint the man right now. But he knows that even though he is a talented painter, he could never translate this beauty onto the canvas. There are not enough colors in the world to truly convey how magnificent Martín looks right now.

Andrés doesn't want to ruin the moment. He takes his time to imprint every single detail of Martín in his mind. And only when Martín turns to look at him questioningly, he forces his body to move. He walks past Martín, slightly brushing his hand with his fingers on the way. 

And even this little touch sends electricity through Andrés' whole body. He craves to turn around and come closer, to touch Martín, to look in his beautiful blue eyes and feel his soft lips.

But he keeps walking. And Martín follows. As he always does.

When they get back to the hotel, Andrés realizes that he is indeed tired. Ten minutes later they are already in bed, sharing the blanket and feverishly talking about the bank of Spain and all the details of the plan. Andrés doesn't know exactly how much time passes before Martín falls asleep. His face is calm and beautiful in the dark room, accentuated only by the streetlights from the windows. Andrés finds himself mesmerized by the view. He traces his fingertips lightly over Martín's cheek and he could have sworn that the man leaned into the touch, if it wasn't for his steady sleepy breathing. 

Andrés feels the warmth spread in his chest. He realizes that he never felt so secure and at home as he feels right now with Martín. Come to think of it, it is always like this with him. Andrés tries to remember if he ever felt this way before Martín came into his life. And he can't. Or doesn't want to. His life was completely different before Martín. And how much better it became with his presence.

Andrés wonders why he feels this way. He can't quite decipher the feeling, give it a solid description. He knows that he loves Martín, they are soulmates. Martín is an integral part of him... 

He falls asleep still lost in the thought. His head is full of questions like why does he crave the touch of Martín so much, why can't he imagine his life without him?

And if this is love, how far is he willing to go?

* * *

Martín wakes up with his nose tucked into the crook of Andrés' neck. The other man's hand is firm and possessive on Martín's back, underneath his shirt. Their legs are intertwined under the blanket, and Martín can't tell where his body ends and Andrés' begins. He decides not to give it much thought and to just savour the moment. At least for one morning, he can pretend that they are in love. So he puts his hand over Andrés's waist, pulls him closer and falls back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rational thing would be to stay away from Martín for a while, to prove to Sergio that they can be perfectly professional and not affected by any feelings. But Andrés is not known for giving up what he wants. And if he wants both the plan and Martín, he will have them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _30 seconds to mars, halsey - love is madness_
> 
> This chapter was inspired by @marirable and her twitter re-watch of La Casa de Papel.  
> Thanks to her findings, I believe that my version of Andrés telling Martín everything Sergio said is somewhat close to canon.

-¿Enamorado de mí?

Andrés can't help but laugh at this. As if he doesn't know that already. He goes on to explain to Sergio that Martín can be unpredictable, uncontrollable and chaotic, but he is still a brilliant engineer, a true genius.

But Sergio is not convinced. He insists that Martín can't be trusted, because he is blinded by his love for Andrés and Andrés himself is simply too much in love with the plan to see that it is a disaster.

Andrés loves his little brother, but he gets angrier and angrier as he listens to him. Why is it so difficult for Sergio to see that the plan is pure perfection, the absolute masterpiece?

Martín arrives just in time when Andrés thinks he is going to lash out at his hermanito. As soon as Martín's hands are around his neck, helping him with the bow tie, Andrés allows himself to relax.

As Martín excuses himself for the bathroom, Sergio continues with his attempts to convince Andrés how bad Martín would be for the plan. But Andrés is not listening. He is already thinking about the ways he will hurt the fat man who has been laughing at him and Martín. 

When Martín returns to the bar, he can almost feel the heat of the anger Andrés is trying to hide. He also noticed the man laughing and he would have gladly assisted Andrés in whatever he is going to do to that pig.

But before he has a chance to go at the man, Sergio excuses himself from the bar. Andrés takes a sip of the whiskey he and Martín are sharing. He seems to be lost in thought and Martín can't wait to hear the plan Andrés prepared for the fat man. But Andrés surprises him by turning the conversation in a completely different direction.

-Sergio wants you out of the plan. He says that you are uncontrollable and can't be trusted. And that you are too much in love with me.

Andrés finally focuses his eyes on Martín, who is taken aback by this blant statement. Of course he was certain that Andrés knew about his feelings, it simply couldn't be any other way. They have spent the last five years together and Martín wasn't particularly good at hiding his admiration for Andrés. But this never came up before so openly, so he is lost as to what to respond to this. 

To buy himself some time, Martín fetches the glass from Andrés' hand and takes a sip himself.

-And what do you think about it?

Andrés throws his head back, laughing.

-Martín, obviously there is no way you can be excluded from the plan. It is our creation after all. I can't and won't do it without you. Now, if you will excuse me...

Martín follows his gaze to see the fat man proceeding to the bathroom. Andrés has the audacity to lick the fork that he is holding, before following the man, leaving Martín utterly confused and proud of Andrés at the same time.

* * *

On their way back to the monastery, Andrés tells Martín what he did to the man at the bar and, of course, Martín appreciates every detail. He laughs when Andrés describes the look of realization mixed with fear on the man's face. And there is a devilish smile on Martín's face when he hears about the stabbing act itself.

Andrés’ thoughts return to what Sergio said about Martín being too much in love with him. He chuckles quietly, remembering that Sergio only mentioned Andrés’ love for the plan. As if Andrés doesn't love Martín as well. As if his love isn't more dangerous for Martín, since it can bring the man on the edge in a matter of seconds. As it happened when he kissed Martín for the first time. As it happens every time Andrés touches Martín. 

The rational thing would be to stay away from Martín for a while, to prove to Sergio that they can be perfectly professional and not affected by any feelings. But Andrés is not known for giving up what he wants. And if he wants both the plan and Martín, he will have them.

-Your brother agreed, by the way.

They have been walking in silence towards the chapel and at first Andrés is not even sure what Martín is talking about. 

-I swore that I would never betray you... or the plan. He seemed convinced. We even shook hands.

Andrés doesn’t answer. His mind is still busy with memories of what he was doing while his brother and Martín were declaring a truce. The relief he felt, giving way to his anger. The satisfaction of hurting the man who dared to laugh at him. 

Andrés didn’t tell Martín why he had such an urge to stab the man. Because he couldn’t even explain it to himself at first. He just couldn’t bear the thought of somebody making fun of him, of Martín. Somebody daring to laugh at Martín’s affection for him, when it was the most precious thing Andrés ever had in his life. Hence the urge to punish for the disrespect, to protect what’s his.

They walk into the chapel and Martín feels Andrés grab his wrist. The next thing Martín knows is that Andrés is pushing him against the wall. He only has time to notice how dark Andrés’ eyes are, and his whole body becomes tense from both fear and anticipation. And when Andrés crushes his lips against his, Martín’s eyes flutter shut. He knows at once that he is being too eager, too passionate, giving away too many emotions. But then he hears Andrés moan against his lips and Martín loses control. His left hand finds Andrés' neck, fingers pulling the hair, digging into the scalp. His other hand is on the man’s waist in a desperate attempt to pull him even closer and, oh god, it is still not enough.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Andŕes knows that this is madness. They are best friends, they are not lovers, never can be. And nevertheless he bites into Martín’s lower lip, his fingers under the man’s shirt, pressing hard, undoubtedly leaving bruises. And this feels so good. To know that Martín belongs to him. That the sounds he makes, the reaction of his body is only for Andrés.

But he knows he has to stop it. Until they have gone too far. Until there is no turning back.

As soon as Andrés pulls away, Martín realizes that he doesn’t want this to end as the other two times. So he trails kisses hungrily down Andrés’ jaw and onto his neck. The man throws his head back and Martín can feel how Andrés stifles a groan in his throat. He smiles at that and dares to bite at Andrés’ skin.

But then there’s a hand in his hair, pulling and forcing him to look up. The gesture is painful, but not painful enough for Martín not to enjoy it.

Andrés looks marvelous right now. His hair is disheveled, swollen lips parted, breath heavy and hot just inches away from Martín’s face. 

-It has been a long day, Martín. We both need some sleep.

Andrés leaves the last small kiss on Martín’s lips, withdraws his hands and turns to go inside the room. 

-You can stay here tonight. We will begin working on the plan early in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But every step Andrés takes is echoing in the chapel, increasing the distance between them, tearing apart any hope that was left in Martín's heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _bts - don't leave me_
> 
> In my reality, the Kiss TM scene didn't happen. As well as Andrés and Tatiana's marriage. I couldn't hurt my boy Martín like this.
> 
> Though I couldn't hold myself from some angst either.

Two weeks have passed since they had been to the bar, where Andrés almost killed a man, and Andrés and Martín were almost inseparable since then. There are only two of them, spending days and nights discussing, changing and perfecting the plan. And at the same time Andrés seems to be growing more affectionate with each day, always touching Martín's hands, shoulders, always standing too close, sitting so that their knees are pressed together. And all this drives Martín crazy.

Because even if Martín understands that this doesn't mean anything, that all of this is just a game for Andrés, he can't quite help himself. He leans into every touch, remembers every kind word. He is so used already to Andrés' closeness that all the tension in his body disappears as soon as Andrés' hands are on him. He becomes too careless, not even bothering to go to his room to sleep when they study the plan well into the night. And in the mornings, when he wakes up with Andrés’ arm around his waist, his heart is filled with hope. Hope that, despite all the odds, the two of them can just stay together and be happy. 

Martín has no idea what he did to deserve this blessing, but he savours every moment of it.

Because deep down he knows that this inevitably will end. 

* * *

-¿Cómo me ves?

Martín looks up from his papers. It's not like he hasn't been sneaking glances at Andrés dressing up, but now he is allowed to watch openly.

And he appreciates what he sees. Andrés looks as astonishing as ever. Martín takes in his flawless suit and his confident posture.

-Poderoso. - Andrés laughs at that. -Bello.

Martín smiles and returns to his work. He hears Andrés take a couple of steps in his direction and looks up again, question in his eyes. Andrés stops in the middle of the room, his gaze fixated on Martín. There is still a faint smile on his lips, but now there is sadness in his eyes, almost regret. Instinctively, Martín feels that he won't like whatever it is on Andrés' mind. So he breaks the silence by putting the bottle on the table.

-¿Tomamos uno?

-No, I cannot drink this wine with you. I'm going out for dinner... with Tatiana. 

Even though Martín responds with a silent 'bien', he curses himself in his head. Being the sole center of Andrés' attention for the past couple of weeks, he managed to completely forget about his new girlfriend.

Well, girlfriend for now. Martín suddenly remembers Andrés bragging about how great this girl was and how fulfilled he felt pulling the heists with her. Neither Martín nor Sergio appreciated passionate (and sometimes too detailed) speeches about the new woman during the breakfast. But Martín knows this stage, he should have realized it sooner. He has suffered through the two previous weddings and it was foolish of him not to recognize all the signs. The perfect suit, the smug smile, the concern about the looks, the restaurant reservation. Andrés is going to propose tonight. 

Martín is trying his best to focus on the equations in front of him, but his sight gets blurred. He should have known better. He shouldn't have hoped. 

In a desperate attempt to pull himself together, Martín smiles at Andrés and forces the words out of his throat, in the most cheerful way possible.

-Enjoy the evening then.

Andrés tries to say something, but then just sighs instead. He knows Martín too well. It is obvious that the man already came to all the right conclusions and there is nothing left to say. So Andrés turns his back to Martín to put on his coat. Martín stares at him, hoping, praying that Andrés can somehow read his mind, hear his thoughts. That he somehow changes his mind and stays.

-Don't wait up.

Martín pushes himself deeper into the chair, sighs and covers his face with his hands. He wants to cry, wants to scream, wants to run after Andrés, stop him. Convince him that Martín's devotion and love would be more than enough. He wants to trap Andrés against the wall and kiss him until they both can’t breathe, until Andrés realizes that this is not a game anymore, that what they have is much deeper than anything Andrés can ever have with any other person.

But every step Andrés takes is echoing in the chapel, increasing the distance between them, tearing apart any hope that was left in Martín's heart. 

Until everything falls silent.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time this evening, he smiles happily and walks back to the car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _валерий меладзе - салют, вера!_
> 
> My music taste can be very diverse, yeah.
> 
> I'm sorry for re-using the words from the actual scenes again, but they are just too good. And not that hurtful if you change who they are said to.

Andrés drives to the restaurant in silence. He tries to think about how nice it would be to see Tatiana after the several weeks they've spent apart. But all he can think about is how he left things with Martín.

He realizes now that his leave was too dramatic. As if he was breaking up with Martín, though he knew perfectly well that he would come back to him. It can't be any other way. Their brilliant plan, their creation was much more important to Andrés right now than anything else. 

Of course he will come back. But it still felt like he wronged Martín. 

Andrés focuses on the road in front of him. He pictures Tatiana happy to see him and all the people in the restaurant turning around to look at the beautiful couple. 

Yes, Tatiana is a beauty and a marvel. He enjoyed their relationship, the adrenaline of the heists mixed with the heat of passion. He honestly thought that she was the one, that he would marry her and finally be content with his life.

But there is no ring in his pocket right now and he definitely is not going to propose any time soon. He has to concentrate on the plan. He doesn't even want to invite Tatiana to live with them in the chapel, because it would undoubtedly lead to his divided attention.

Andrés enters the restaurant and smiles warmly when he sees Tatiana. They immediately start talking about the plan and Andrés tells her everything that he and Martín came up with during the last couple of weeks. She is a good listener and she can appreciate the art, he would give her that. 

But then she starts talking about what they would do after the heist. How they would get away on some island and have a never-ending honeymoon. Andrés nods and smiles at her suggestions, but his mind wanders off.

What will Martín do after the heist? Can Andrés just go somewhere with Tatiana and leave his best friend? And why is Tatiana not considering Martín coming with them anyway?

Andrés drinks his wine as he keeps thinking. Something is completely wrong. As Tatiana keeps talking, he realizes that he doesn't want to stay with her after the heist. Never did, actually. It is his and Martín's plan, they should bask together in its glory, laughing at the whole world. Enjoying themselves and planning their next grand heist.

He wanted to include Tatiana in the plan before. To enter the bank of Spain with her by his side, Martín on the other. And it seemed logical, because Tatiana is as talented in the art of the robberies as she is in the music. And all the heists they pulled together so far were major successes. So why is he so cautious about including her now?

Andrés tries to concentrate, to find an answer inside himself. He tells himself that it is just because they haven't seen each other in a long time and he forgot the feeling of the flaming fire when they were together. He tries to revive the memories, but all he can think of is how he and Martín spent the night in that hotel in Madrid, how warm it felt to wake up next to him in the chapel and how Martín’s skin burned under his fingers, while Andrés was losing all control just kissing him... Fuck.

-So when are we going inside the bank?

Andrés snaps out of his thoughts. And before he can think better of it, he responds:

-You are not going.

The cute smile on Tatiana's face gives way to confusion.

-I like you, Tatiana, I do. And I enjoyed our relationship and the work we did together. But it would be for the best if you are not included in the plan. In fact, I think it's better if we part our ways. 

-Andrés... you are kidding, right?

He waves to the waiter and pays for their check. 

-Adiós, Tatiana. I'm sure that one day time will bring us back together.

He stands up, kisses her on the cheek and leaves the restaurant. The cold air outside feels like a blessing. Andrés breathes in deeply before lighting up a cigarette. For the first time this evening, he smiles happily and walks back to the car. 

* * *

He arrives at the monastery only to find Martín in the same room, in the same position, still working. He walks into the room quietly. Martín is deep in his thoughts, so he shrugs violently when he hears Andrés' voice.

-What about that wine you were talking about earlier?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -I thought you wouldn't come back... tonight.  
> -But here I am. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _tom odell - here i am_
> 
> And here goes the last chapter of this work. I both loved writing it and struggled with it. It took about three rewrites of the whole chapter until I finally deemed it close to what I wanted to express.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the journey and that the ending won't disappoint you.

Martín turns around to see Andrés standing at the door, coat in his hands, smiling widely. Martín thinks he must be dreaming. He must have ended the night drinking that bottle of wine alone, feeling sorry for himself and then passing out. And now his mind is playing tricks on him. 

But he can smell the familiar cologne and the faint scent of cigarettes. This is too vivid to be a dream. Something must have gone wrong during the date, but Andrés looks too happy for this to be true. Maybe the proposal went as planned and now Andrés came back to celebrate? But this doesn't make any sense.

Martín realizes that the silence stretched between them for too long. So he straightens his back and speaks, painfully aware how much hurt there is in his voice.

-I thought you wouldn't come back... tonight.

Andrés smiles even wider at that. He takes his time hanging the coat on a chair and makes several steps towards Martín.

-But here I am. 

Martín smiles weakly, still not quite believing that he came back. The sound of Andrés’ steps as he was leaving the chapel just a couple of hours ago still echoing in his head. The memory alone makes Martín sick. He feels exhausted, reminding himself that Andrés comes when he is bored with his women and goes when he finds a new one. Toying with Martín, torturing him with sudden outbursts of affection and abrupt leaves. 

Martín decides that he is too tired to fight this. He knows that he is being weak, allowing Andrés back into his life time and time again after the man hurts him. But it is much easier to manage all the pain when Andrés keeps coming back to him. And maybe one day Andrés will eventually understand that there is no point in going anywhere anymore.

-The wine is still on the table, if you are finally up for it.

Andrés comes even closer to Martín, but just to take the glasses and the bottle from the table and go away to sit on the sofa.

-I hope you don't count on drinking wine around the table with the drawings of our brilliant plan on it, do you?

Martín accepts the veiled invitation and moves to sit on the sofa next to Andrés. He is careful not to sit too close to the man. He can't allow himself to fall for the same trap again.

-I didn't propose, you know. And she is not going to enter the bank of Spain with us either.

He says it casually while pouring the wine for them both. As if it means nothing. As if his possible marriage didn't break Martín's heart once again.

Martín tries to take in the information, but he can't come up with any rational explanation of why Andrés would cancel his fifth marriage. Was it something Tatiana said or did? Or has he fancied another woman already?

-Martín... Stop thinking about whatever difficult calculations or physics stuff you're thinking about right now. Let's just drink.

Martín takes his glass and dares to look Andrés in the eyes. There is this beautiful crooked smile on his face again. 

-Por el plan!

Martín smiles at that and clinks his glass with Andrés'. Can it be that the explanation is much simpler than he thought and has nothing to do with feelings? Just with Andrés being too obsessed with the plan to pay attention to any romantic pursuings. 

It seems like Andrés decided to ignore whatever happened to both of them in the past couple of hours. He just keeps talking about the heist and asking Martín questions to involve him in the conversation. Thanks to the wine or the feeling of falling back into the rhythm only the two of them share, Martín allows himself to relax. At some point he has to go and procure another bottle of wine and they still don't run out of things to talk about, sitting half-turned and facing each other. Martín's hand is on the back of the sofa and when Andrés laughs and throws his head back, Martín lets his fingers touch his soft hair for a few moments. Andrés doesn't withdraw and just leans into the touch, suddenly silent. 

Martín had enough to drink already so that he doesn't care and doesn't take his hand away. He just keeps caressing Andrés hair, enjoying the calm and satisfied face of the man.

-Martín...

His fingers freeze. He is scared again, because this man just left him a few hours ago and Martín allowed himself to be fooled into closeness again. 

-You know that I was going to come back to you, right? No matter what.

Andrés opens his eyes to look at Martín. And he sees the pain on his face, the disbelief. Andrés feels as if somebody twisted the knife in his chest. He can't believe that he is the reason for those feelings.

He moves closer to Martín, wanting to take his face into his hands, but Martín shifts further from the man. Andrés lowers his hands and sighs.

-Martín, I know that I have hurt you many times already. And I am truly sorry for that. 

-You can hurt me as much as you want, Andrés. I’m not gonna leave you anyway, as I’m sure you’ve already figured out. 

Martín takes a deep breath, covering his face with his hands, trying to pull his thoughts together. Mastering the courage to tell Andrés something that would most likely bring them apart. 

-You know that I love you. Even your brother knows that. Hell, the whole world must know at this point. But I want to ask you one thing, Andrés. In fact, I’m ready to beg you: don’t ever touch me or kiss me again. Unless you truly mean it. Don’t give me the false hope, as it is too cruel even for you.

There is silence between them. Martín closes his eyes, ready for whatever is coming for him. Thinking where he can find another bottle of wine to drink himself to sleep and out of his misery, after all this is eventually over. 

Martín startles, when he hears Andrés laughing.

-Martín, all those years we’ve spent together… And you still somehow managed to miss the essence of my personality.

He meets Andrés’ eyes, not sure how to react. 

-Tell me, have you ever known me to do something that I don’t want to do?

Andrés moves closer to Martín again, this time not paying attention to Martín’s attempts to escape him. He stops the man with his hand on his back, another on his neck.

-I meant it every time. That’s why I’m here tonight. 

Andrés traces a finger over Martín's lower lip and feels it trembling. He presses their foreheads together, looking into Martín’s eyes, waiting until the man finally believes him.

Martín sighs quietly and puts his hand around Andrés neck. There is still doubt in the back of his mind, fear that Andrés is going to play him again. But there is also hope again. Hope that Andrés can love him some more.

-Then kiss me like you mean it. Like that’s what you truly want.

And Andrés obliges. This time there is no hunger, no heat. Just soft and tender acknowledgement that they belong together. Like they always did. 

This time Andrés just allows himself to truly feel it. And Martín finally lets himself believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for getting this far!
> 
> Please feel free to leave kudos and comments, I will appreciate any and every feedback, since this is my first work ever.
> 
> If you want to connect with me or just want to see endless Berlermo content, find me on tumblr: @es-imposible.


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